There are not many people I know that at one point in time have not been unhappy with something about themselves, or themselves altogether. This is a truly saddening thought. I am not independent of this statement either. There are things that all of us find not so appealing about who we are.
-We're too short-we're too tall- we have straight hair and want curly- we have curly hair and want straight- we're not skinny enough- we don't like our hair color or wish we had a different eye color- we aren't as good at sports as that person- we're not as musically talented as that other person- we aren't as cool as him- we don't have as many friends as her- we wish we dressed more like that person- we aren't as 'good of a Christian' as that person- we're weird- we're awkward- But my friends, this is not the way that God intended us to view His creation. In Genesis 1:31, it says, "God saw all that He had made, and it was very good." It wasn't just good, it was very good. When we sit there and compare ourselves to our neighbors, we are refusing to appreciate the gifts that God has blessed those individuals with. We have each been given gifts, talents, and attributes special to us. Scripture says in Genesis 1:27, "God created mankind in His own image.." and if that wasn't enough, it's repeated again, "in the image of God He created them.." I think there is a point that is trying to be stressed here. And that is that we are not made who we are by mistake. God crafted each and every one of us in His own image, and then He said that it was good! Friends, the Creator of the universe has created and continues to make you into something truly beautiful. He does not see fault in you, as you do in yourself. He does not wish that would have curly hair when you have straight hair, or whatever. While having this conversation with a friend today, he said that [when we focus on our own likes for traits and attributes we don't already have, we are overlooking the beauty that God has already given us.] Well put, my friend. So live as a beautiful creation of a Beautiful Creator. I had the privilege of spending my entire summer living with, learning from, and loving on a community in Fond Blanc, Haiti. These once strangers, are now my family. These 45 beautiful children that live at the orphanage I lived in, they hold a part of my heart; a very large part of my heart that I won't be getting back. And I don't think I want it back. Leaving those precious little souls was the hardest thing that I have ever had to do in my life. Having to say goodbye to them... [through tears of gratefulness and joy for the time we had & pain and sorrow for the end of something beautiful] was something that I could have never been prepared for.
Fond Blanc was home. That orphanage was home. Those children were family. I could never have imagined the way that God was going to shape my heart for His children in Fond Blanc, but it was something I would not give up for anything. This summer was hard, tiring, draining.. exhausting in every way. Tears came frequent. But so did laughter. And so did hugs. This summer was joyous, life-giving, encouraging, and beautiful. Beauty was found in the brokenness. Love was found in the hardships and pain. I could have been having the worst day and then I would feel little arms around my waist, a hug from one of my littles. It didn't necessarily make the day less hard, but it was bearable. The children learned soon into the summer that they couldn't greet me without a hug. It came to a point where I would walk into a room and they would walk towards me with their arms outstretched. I didn't have much of my own to give to these children this summer, but I did have a whole lot of something that wasn't mine to give away. The Love of Christ. I was given this love, to freely give. The more I gave away, the more I would get back. There was a song that the children taught me this summer.. ||Mwen renmenw na non le Seye ||Mwen renmenw na non le Seye ||Le mwen we na ou, lanmou Bondye a ||Mwen renmenw na non le Seye This song translated means 'I love you in the name of the Lord, I love you in the name of the Lord. And I see in you, the love of the Lord. I love you in the name of the Lord.' And this became the theme of my summer. I was loving these children with a love not my own, and in return was able to see the love of the Lord. As I write this post through tear-filled eyes, I think about my children that I had to leave. I think about what they are probably doing right now as I write this. And I think of how I wish I was there with them. In these moments when I miss them most, I get to look back and remember the fond memories I hold in my heart. Some of my favorite times spent with these children was during our nightly church service. We would sit in the back, they would fall asleep on my lap. When service was over, I would get them to their bed, kiss them on the forehead, tell them goodnight and I loved them and sneak out of their room. Those were the most precious moments to me. I hold them very dear to my heart. Sometimes it is overwhelmingly hard to be away from them. But although I cannot be there with them physically, I can do something far greater for them. And that is to pray. I pray to God often when I miss them so much that it hurts. I pray that He would hold their hearts and mine. I pray that He would give them peace. I pray that He would pour HIS love over them. I pray that He would make Himself known to them. I pray that He would protect them, hold them, and be near them. I pray that He would have His way in their lives. And I pray that He would be a Father to them. These pictures are the faces in my heart that bring me oh so much joy. Yesterday me and my dearest kindred took a day trip to Duluth, Minnesota. It was grand in many ways. We biked around town, stopped at quaint little shops of all sorts, and enjoyed conversations from the heart. I'm thanking Jesus for this special friend of mine close to my heart, Miss Holland Roxanne. or·di·nar·y [awr-dn-er-ee] 1.of no special quality or interest, plain or undistinguished. Tonight during bible study we were digging through Mark 3:13-35. We found the piece where it talks about Jesus 'calling to Him those He wanted' most captivating. These 12 individuals that He chose were not rich or important or of some high class. Nope, in fact they were just ordinary people. But they were chosen. They were called. Just as He did then, Jesus is still calling ordinary people to be something truly extraordinary. The ordinary are made extraordinary through being with Jesus. "You may not be great, but I in you will be greater." ex·traor·di·nar·y [ik-strawr-dn-er-ee] 1.beyond what is usual, ordinary, or regular; noteworthy, remarkable Well hello there, So, this all started with a brief thought of how following Jesus is truly something for the adventurers out there. I mean, while being the most secure decision you could ever make, following Jesus is the most insecure thing in the sense that anything goes. If you're really listening to that Still Small Voice, you never know where He will lead you next. While closing my eyes one day, I had this vision.. here it goes: I am walking with Jesus, holding His hand. We are not strolling down the sidewalk, my friend. We are walking along a cliff or mountainside. I am walking the line, right along the edge. As I am walking along this ledge, I'm so close to the edge that my right foot repeatedly slips off the edge. Now, every time I slip, it forces me to quickly squeeze and hold on tighter than the last slip to Jesus' hand. I can remember being so confused and asking 'why are we doing this?' 'Why are you making me do this?' 'Can't we scoot over a little? So it's safer?' As I frantically drill Him with questions, He smiles and oh so tenderly asks me, 'do you trust Me?' And at that moment it was over. I remember having a feeling of peace wash over me. Knowing that I don't know what is to come, where I will be led next, what the future brings or what it doesn't. But what I do know is that it will be an adventure. I know that I may be led places that may not seem right, to me at least in the moment. I may also be led places where my feet do slip. I might even be led places where my feet fail completely, and I fall. In fact, that is almost guaranteed. But the beautiful news is that I'm actually not on this adventure alone. In fact, I have a very willing Adventure Buddy. His name is Jesus Christ. And He will never let go of my hand. And He whispers to me, 'oh darling, lets be adventurers.' |
This life is not my own and so I choose to take the hand of the One who knows what lies ahead. Along the way we sing, we dance, we are learning portuguese and living in Brazil, and always gazing on beauty.^^^^
bind my wandering heart to Thee Archives
March 2016
|