when looking into what I was going to do with my summer, I was thinking.. well it has to be something of an adventure. while I still can, I wanna get out and do something with this summer of mine. after convincing my friend katie-kat to apply with me, I applied to be a housekeeper at a summer camp up in the northwoods of good ole wisco. not too long after applying, I had an interview and not long after that (2 days to be exact), I heard back from the camp saying that I had gotten the position. now I had sort of went back and forth in
 | whether I thought I wanted the position or not. but when I finally had found out the outcome, I was so pumped and so certain with everything in me that that was what I wanted to do with my summer. everything about it seemed so wonderful: I was going with my dear friend, I was going to make a bunch of new friends who loved Jesus and were signing on to serve Him for the summer with me, AND on top of all of that.. I was going to be able to make pottery on the wheel, improve on my archery and sailing skills, and just be in creation. what could possibly be better, oh goodness I don't even know. so, this was a really hard decision for me to make for some reason. I was really intent in talking with Jesus about this and I finally was supposed to call them back and I still really didn't know my answer. now I guess I wasn't really feeling at peace about it and I just didn't know why, but I really really wanted to be there and I thought that was just going to be enough. I had my phone in my hand and I was |
ready to call and confirm my position with the camp this summer and I, for some reason, just could not do it. I took the rest of that night and then I realized that I really wasn't feeling at peace about it and I think that was why I couldn't take the position. besides a few logical reasons, I really don't know why I wasn't given peace. but very hesitantly and heavy-hearted, I called the camp the next morning to fill them in on what was going on and to, unfortunately decline the position. I was really honest with them and explained my process and where I was at and they were really understanding and wonderful. i think that made it harder.
I think the thing that is hardest at this moment is that it kinda just sucks. I really wanted to, and still do want to, with everything in me, spend my summer at this camp going on adventures, making friends, and serving Jesus. but I knew I couldn't take it, and I wasn't sure why and I still don't really know for certain why. but I do know that my Jesus is sovereign and so is His will for my life. maybe I won't be spending my summer in the wilderness of wisconsin, but whatever He has for me.. I'm up for it. and ya know what.. I'm up for it with joy. I'm up for whatever 'adventure' He may throw my way this summer. and hey.. just because I'm not up at that camp in that wilderness and all, that doesn't mean I'm not still on an adventure with my darling Jesus.
